Making a friend of reality

“Perspective is most often the key to happiness.”

I was recently introduced to my latest binge-watch, Virgin River on Netflix. In addition to appreciating the vast open landscapes and comforting sense of community, the above statement in the first episode resonated with me so much that I felt the need to write it down.

It chimed with some reading I’ve been doing recently about the concept of self-agency. It’s a concept often used in therapeutic practices to help clients think about the control that they have over difficult circumstances and increasingly I see it within my coaching practice.

Independent researcher, Lindsay Morgia explains the concept in her article, High agency: how to feel more in control in your life and work. “People with high agency feel a sense of control over their lives, and they can make decisions about what they want or need and act to meet those needs.”

On the other hand, “if someone has low agency, they may feel powerless to change the direction of their lives.”

Many of the Chief Executives I work with, have expressed concerns recently about the challenging operating environment we’re in. The consensus is that they can barely remember a time when things were so tough. Afterall, we’re living in a VUCA world (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, Ambiguous) and that looks unlikely to change for some time, if at all.

History shows us that those leaders who are most successful, tend to be those with high agency; they find a way to succeed without conditions being perfect. They’re aware of the potential blockers but are focussed on finding ways to manoeuvre around them, in order to deliver what the business needs.

We all have times when we feel that there is too much stacked against us. It’s not long before one can start to feel powerless. However, the good news is that we can cultivate high agency. Coaching is one effective way to bring about a shift in mindset and take leaders on a journey to achieving it.

3 characteristics that support high agency:

Morgia identifies the essential components for high agency as being:

  1. Forethought – our ability to choose the right actions to achieve our goals, and to think about possible outcomes;

  2. Self-regulation, having capacity to monitor our emotions, behaviours and motivations, and understand what triggers us; and

  3. Self-efficacy, our belief in our ability to succeed. 

I like the idea of re-thinking our challenges as choices. Notwithstanding the enormous levels of inequity in our society, we all have choices to make as to how we deal with challenge and react to difficulties. Sometimes, it may be as simple as consciously accepting the situation we face.

As the well-respected US coach, Alisa Cohn observes: “Making a friend of reality is a potent secret weapon for everyone. It lets you take all of your energy and point it toward performance, not frustration.”

What do you think? I’d love to know. Contact me and let’s have a conversation.

Sarah

PS: Click to see 5 reasons executive coaching could assist you and your organisation.

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